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"Financial Planners"--the grifters of the business world

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A recent series of encounters with a "financial planner" would be funny if it wasn't so predictable. I have a reasonably healthy amount of money in the care of the investment department of a regional bank. The new "financial planner" at the bank apparently noticed this money, and started to send me emails pitching me on---wait for it--single-premium life insurance. His idea was that I could use the money to "build a family legacy that will last for generations" Barf.

It would be funny if it wasn't so predictable. I had to meet with him about changing some investments within my SEP/IRA. In the meantime, he was helping me set up a Donor Advised Fund. This is a fairly labor-intensive process, with no immediate benefit to him or his bank, and he was taking care of every step of it for me. If the process of setting up the Donor Advised Fund had involved him wiping my backside, he would have done it with smile, while asking me whether I preferred Charmin or AngelSoft.

Two days ago, we met at my office. After we did the necessary stuff for my SEP/IRA, he turned to the life insurance pitch. I cut him off and said, "If this is about life insurance, I'm not doing it." At that point, he left my office. Yesterday morning, bright and early, I got a email from him giving the contact information of various people who I needed to talk with to finish setting up the Donor Advised Trust, along with his sincere best wishes that I could successfully complete the task on my own.

As long as he saw me as a live prospect for high-commission financial products with high internal costs, he was willing to wait on me hand and foot. Once the prospect of selling me life insurance was over, I was "dead to him." Again, it would be funny if it weren't so predictable. Something to keep in mind concerning the priorities of "financial planners." (Hint: It 's not you.)

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ISSUES
Deceptive Practices
Conflicts of Interest
Incorrect Advice
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Dodging Disaster: The Terrible Mortgage Advice That Almost Led Me Into the 2008 Crash

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Some idiot financial advisor came to my workplace circa 2006 advising everyone to take zero-downpayment, interest-only mortgages, which were widely available at the time and were what fueled the housing bubble.

Then use the proceeds to buy life insurance as an investment.

I recall asking him, what happens when the interest-only period expires and you're required to start paying principal? "Oh, don't worry, you can always refinance into another interest-only loan. "Obviously I did not follow his advice, and we all know how the real estate market ended up after the 2008 crash. (I ended up buying my house in 2012.)

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ISSUES
Incorrect Advice
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What are some signs that your financial advisor is stealing from you?

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He is a new friend

He is a long-lost relative

He approached you in church with a Bible in hand

He offers you a guaranteed high steady return

He is addicted to something that is expensive

The name of his company includes the name of any of the Founding Fathers, any prestigious US or British University or sounds like it is affiliated with Veterans or the US government

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ISSUES
Conflicts of Interest
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The “12%” Advisor

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A few years ago, I was competing for a client’s business. I was one of two other advisors who were being interviewed, and I gave my traditional spiel. It turns out that one of the guys I was up against had guaranteed to the potential client that he could make 12% in the stock market.

Now, keep in mind that this was not before 2023, and even if it was, it wouldn’t matter. The advisor was using basic mutual funds and still had the audacity to claim to my client that he could net him a guaranteed 12% return.

I was in shock.

Lesson Learned: If you ever come across any type of advisor that guarantees you any rate of return, and isn’t quoting you a fixed annuity, a CD, or some type of insured bond – don’t fall for it. It’s too good to be true. Get out of their office fast.

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ISSUES
Deceptive Practices
Poor Communication
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