A Simple Mistake That Cost Me Thousands in Home Buying Benefits

I hired my FA for one thing—to manage my retirement investments. Outside of retirement I have a plan for how I manage my cash flow that fits with my personal lifestyle choices, but I feel my FA wants me to change to fit an investment plan he has picked for me.

We have been saving for retirement about 30 years. One day he called us into his office so he could model our retirement expenses. He asked a number of questions but ignored my answers. Then he came up with a model based on a lavish lifestyle that showed my 30 years of savings would be gone in just one year if I retired early.

I should have fired him on the spot. Apart from not listening to my answers, it’s demoralizing to feel like I have worked a lifetime to support myself for just one year. I felt angry and discouraged.

His plan must have been to convince me to maximize my retirement contributions. I was not ready to do that, and I had told him why. When I was younger I had done that, but got badly burned when my finances went sour and I had no emergency funds—everything I had was locked into an untouchable retirement.

Since then I shifted my finances into six parts:

• Money I need to live today, month-to-month
• A decent rainy-day savings for major purchases or emergencies
• Aggressively paying down all debt, including mortgage debt
• Helping my three children as young adults, buying their first car, providing their college education
• Saving a little in a (matching) 401k
• Enjoying life at middle-age, spending time with family and friends

The last point in particular I am not willing to compromise on. I don’t want a lavish lifestyle but I should be able to travel and enjoy activities. I have minimized personal expenses and nearly eliminated all debt. Today we could live comfortably on $3,000 a month. I am not willing to see my children take on further student loan debt, as I consider 5% interest rates criminal for an investment in our future.

We are not maximizing our tax-deferred contributions today. We did when much younger, but accumulated debt in doing so, and became “house poor”. I’ve learned from our mistakes.And there’s no shame in paying taxes. Part of the point of increasing retirement contributions is to lower my tax burden, I get it. But unless I am also debt free I am losing the game—I would lose far more to interest payments than I would ever pay in taxes.

I need to find a financial advisor who is on board with my plan and will work to maximize the return on my retirement investments and my savings funds. I lack the time to figure this all out for myself. But I don’t need an FA who is set on changing my ideals.

Most are just monkeys 🐒 on a string following a long set of guidelines. What you need is someone who understands math and questions every single guideline. Some of the guidelines don't past the test and end up costing their clients money every year.

This is a very small percentage that can actually do this. In fact my financial advisor is one of the majority monkeys. Occasionally I need to remind him to manage my account my way or he will start managing it like the rest of his clients. But he is a very good and smart person with a good heart.

I wouldn't trust a good percentage of them, find one that gives of the right vibe.

I was 29 and rolled my 401k from Virginia Tech to an “investment guy” at my bank. He was the star football player in high school and had no actual qualifications for investments. I rolled my $40,000 into the bank investment account. In less than 90 days it was down to $18,000 in value.

I had them sell everything and rolled it back out to another firm. When I complained the investment guy said “you are only 29 and you will make it back.” Yeah, but it took me 5 years to build up that $40,000 and he destroyed more than half that in 3 months.