The “12%” Advisor
A few years ago, I was competing for a client’s business. I was one of two other advisors who were being interviewed, and I gave my traditional spiel. It turns out that one of the guys I was up against had guaranteed to the potential client that he could make 12% in the stock market.
Now, keep in mind that this was not before 2023, and even if it was, it wouldn’t matter. The advisor was using basic mutual funds and still had the audacity to claim to my client that he could net him a guaranteed 12% return.
I was in shock.
Lesson Learned: If you ever come across any type of advisor that guarantees you any rate of return, and isn’t quoting you a fixed annuity, a CD, or some type of insured bond – don’t fall for it. It’s too good to be true. Get out of their office fast.
Related Horror Stories
Is your financial advisor stealing from you?
What are some signs that your financial advisor is stealing from you?
- They don’t provide timely statements of activity on your account.
- They give you excuses if you want to move money around.
- They can’t explain withdrawals from your account.
- They can’t provide third party account statements to support internally reported information.
What does an advisor do?
Years ago when I was getting started i spoke to a Schwab advisor. After speaking with him for an hour I still couldn’t figure out what a financial advisor does.
Do you pick stocks? “No, we allocate it to a few different index funds” which funds “funds you feel comfortable that suits your risk level” so I pick the funds?? “Yes” on so then what do you do??! “I advise you, and help you with your unique needs” my unique needs??? My need is for my money to grow as fast as possible.
Do some people have the unique need to lose money?? “….”
"Financial Planners"--the grifters of the business world
A recent series of encounters with a "financial planner" would be funny if it wasn't so predictable. I have a reasonably healthy amount of money in the care of the investment department of a regional bank. The new "financial planner" at the bank apparently noticed this money, and started to send me emails pitching me on---wait for it--single-premium life insurance. His idea was that I could use the money to "build a family legacy that will last for generations" Barf.
It would be funny if it wasn't so predictable. I had to meet with him about changing some investments within my SEP/IRA. In the meantime, he was helping me set up a Donor Advised Fund. This is a fairly labor-intensive process, with no immediate benefit to him or his bank, and he was taking care of every step of it for me. If the process of setting up the Donor Advised Fund had involved him wiping my backside, he would have done it with smile, while asking me whether I preferred Charmin or AngelSoft.
Two days ago, we met at my office. After we did the necessary stuff for my SEP/IRA, he turned to the life insurance pitch. I cut him off and said, "If this is about life insurance, I'm not doing it." At that point, he left my office. Yesterday morning, bright and early, I got a email from him giving the contact information of various people who I needed to talk with to finish setting up the Donor Advised Trust, along with his sincere best wishes that I could successfully complete the task on my own.
As long as he saw me as a live prospect for high-commission financial products with high internal costs, he was willing to wait on me hand and foot. Once the prospect of selling me life insurance was over, I was "dead to him." Again, it would be funny if it weren't so predictable. Something to keep in mind concerning the priorities of "financial planners." (Hint: It 's not you.)
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