Human Financial Advisor Horror Stories about Portfolio Management

A recent series of encounters with a "financial planner" would be funny if it wasn't so predictable. I have a reasonably healthy amount of money in the care of the investment department of a regional bank. The new "financial planner" at the bank apparently noticed this money, and started to send me emails pitching me on---wait for it--single-premium life insurance. His idea was that I could use the money to "build a family legacy that will last for generations" Barf.

It would be funny if it wasn't so predictable. I had to meet with him about changing some investments within my SEP/IRA. In the meantime, he was helping me set up a Donor Advised Fund. This is a fairly labor-intensive process, with no immediate benefit to him or his bank, and he was taking care of every step of it for me. If the process of setting up the Donor Advised Fund had involved him wiping my backside, he would have done it with smile, while asking me whether I preferred Charmin or AngelSoft.

Two days ago, we met at my office. After we did the necessary stuff for my SEP/IRA, he turned to the life insurance pitch. I cut him off and said, "If this is about life insurance, I'm not doing it." At that point, he left my office. Yesterday morning, bright and early, I got a email from him giving the contact information of various people who I needed to talk with to finish setting up the Donor Advised Trust, along with his sincere best wishes that I could successfully complete the task on my own.

As long as he saw me as a live prospect for high-commission financial products with high internal costs, he was willing to wait on me hand and foot. Once the prospect of selling me life insurance was over, I was "dead to him." Again, it would be funny if it weren't so predictable. Something to keep in mind concerning the priorities of "financial planners." (Hint: It 's not you.)

Some time in the past, a “financial advisor” convinced me that I could make a lot of money trading commodities. Wrong! I figured out he was just “churning” me (putting me into and out of too many positions, just to earn the commission), and I closed the account, buy not until he lost 80% of my money in less than a year!

We are invested with a big name financial investment company but have a good relationship with our financial advisor. Until today I never thought about how much it cost. The rate is 1.35%. I always thought that was 1.35% of the profit but apparently it’s the entire balance. Our rate of return last year was -8%. Yes that is negative.

Well on top of this we were charged our fee of $3600. I have no idea what to do. My husband and I both have IRAs a few stocks, a CD, 2 529s for our kids. How do I get this money out and how can I invest this. I had luck with vanguard in the past when I was single but had some tax issues once we got married that is when we went to the financial advisor. Edit: so the -8% is actually April 2022-April 2023. My actual rate for jan 2022-dec31 2022 was -23.4% plus they still charged the 1.35% so in actuality in 2022 I was down 24.75%!!!!! I feel like such an idiot.

Some idiot financial advisor came to my workplace circa 2006 advising everyone to take zero-downpayment, interest-only mortgages, which were widely available at the time and were what fueled the housing bubble.

Then use the proceeds to buy life insurance as an investment.

I recall asking him, what happens when the interest-only period expires and you're required to start paying principal? "Oh, don't worry, you can always refinance into another interest-only loan. "Obviously I did not follow his advice, and we all know how the real estate market ended up after the 2008 crash. (I ended up buying my house in 2012.)