Human Financial Advisor Horror Stories about Portfolio Management

Just filed my taxes and I’m looking more closely at my finances. I’m pretty good with the basics but feel completely out of my depth with investments.

In 2021 I started a Morgan Stanley investment account with the financial advisor who has been managing my parents’ money for many years.

I invested $67,000 in 2021 and let the advisor choose the stocks/bonds/funds/etc, telling them that I’m extremely risk adverse and I needed safe investments. On Jan 1, 2022, the value was $71,950. On Dec 31, 2022, the value was $58,587. In 2022, I paid $1,025 in trade commissions and $984 in service/advising fees. So basically I paid my advisor $2,000 for her to lose me $13,363 over the course of 2022.

Is this normal? Every time I ask my parents or advisor they tell me “the market is down for everyone.” But my parent love their advisor and thinks the sun shines out her butt and my advisor has a financial incentive to keep me.

This is the kind of guy that I don’t actually want to punch in the face; I’d rather just have a good chuckle with him. One time, I was competing with another advisor who was offering a fixed annuity as their only investment solution. They were a pure insurance agent, and apparently, that was all he could offer.

When the client chose me as their advisor over the insurance agent, they were not happy, to say the least. They were so disappointed in my client’s decision that they felt compelled to tell them (in a condescending tone) that their products had no fees, whereas mine did, and that they (my clients) were making a horrible decision.

No fees, huh? Well, yes, if you buy a fixed annuity that guarantees you 3%, you do get 3%. But for someone to use the argument that their products have no fees is ridiculous. There’s a fee for everything; there is no such thing as a free lunch.

Lesson learned: If your advisor tells you that their products have no fees, I would suggest you first prevent yourself from bursting into laughter. Then, kindly remove yourself and sprint out of their office.

Keep the case!

He is a new friend

He is a long-lost relative

He approached you in church with a Bible in hand

He offers you a guaranteed high steady return

He is addicted to something that is expensive

The name of his company includes the name of any of the Founding Fathers, any prestigious US or British University or sounds like it is affiliated with Veterans or the US government

Years ago when I was getting started i spoke to a Schwab advisor. After speaking with him for an hour I still couldn’t figure out what a financial advisor does.

Do you pick stocks? “No, we allocate it to a few different index funds” which funds “funds you feel comfortable that suits your risk level” so I pick the funds?? “Yes” on so then what do you do??! “I advise you, and help you with your unique needs” my unique needs??? My need is for my money to grow as fast as possible.

Do some people have the unique need to lose money?? “….”