Human Financial Advisor Horror Stories

Both of my parents saved their money with one of the giants in this field (as tempting as it is, I will not name them). When you visit their offices, there is lots of polished wood, hushed tones, and big conference rooms as they very seriously do their job of turning the assets entrusted to them into more money.

I was executor for both of my parents' estates (they were divorced), so I got an up-close-and-personal look at what the investing company was doing, but only after the fact. My father thought of himself as a savvy investor, so he managed his money himself. He was, in reality, the epitome of the “Poor Dad” and couldn’t find a good investment with a flashlight, a compass, and someone pointing him right at it.

My mother was the polar opposite; she totally trusted this investment company. Over more than 50 years, they both managed their retirement assets this way. While my mother “won” this race because she had more money when she passed, the fact is that if you look at how much money she handed over to them and how little they actually did with it, it’s just sad.

When it was time to unwind her accounts, she was diversified to the point of “diworsification." There was no rhyme or reason for what she was invested in. It was as if the plan was to see if there was a possibility to buy a little bit of everything. She was in every high-load mutual institutional fund you could possibly find, and a smattering of international institutional funds as well. What a mess.

They wanted to hand this over to the heirs as-is and not sell any of it. I insisted they cash all of this mess out and only transfer the money to the heirs. They did this for everything except her IRA, which they transferred as-is. I received $13,000 (give or take) worth of 20 different mutual funds. That’s just nuts.

So, don’t be swayed by the big conference rooms and the fancy offices with their name on the top of the building. These folks are totally in it for themselves, and if they make you some money, it was by accident.

And no, we’re not talking about churning butter. I was talking with another potential client who was considering switching advisors and although they lived in a small town in the Midwest, they had somehow started doing business with an advisor out of New York. They had been with this person for several years and had a hunch that things weren’t all what they seemed.

They thought perhaps the advisor was selling funds and buying other funds just for the sake of earning a commission, and since I was the guy they were considering hiring, they were interested in me taking a look. After reviewing their account statements and the trade confirmations, it was quickly and easily obvious that was what was being done.

Sure enough, the advisor was selling A-Shares; another type of mutual fund, and turning right around and buying other B-Shares, sometimes it was the exact same fund. It made no sense other than the fact that the advisor made a commission on each of those trades.

Lesson Learned: If you are using an advisor on a commission-based relationship, be on the lookout for an influx of unusual trade confirmations. If you see a lot of activity, it might be worth inquiring about.

I hired my FA for one thing—to manage my retirement investments. Outside of retirement I have a plan for how I manage my cash flow that fits with my personal lifestyle choices, but I feel my FA wants me to change to fit an investment plan he has picked for me.

We have been saving for retirement about 30 years. One day he called us into his office so he could model our retirement expenses. He asked a number of questions but ignored my answers. Then he came up with a model based on a lavish lifestyle that showed my 30 years of savings would be gone in just one year if I retired early.

I should have fired him on the spot. Apart from not listening to my answers, it’s demoralizing to feel like I have worked a lifetime to support myself for just one year. I felt angry and discouraged.

His plan must have been to convince me to maximize my retirement contributions. I was not ready to do that, and I had told him why. When I was younger I had done that, but got badly burned when my finances went sour and I had no emergency funds—everything I had was locked into an untouchable retirement.

Since then I shifted my finances into six parts:

• Money I need to live today, month-to-month
• A decent rainy-day savings for major purchases or emergencies
• Aggressively paying down all debt, including mortgage debt
• Helping my three children as young adults, buying their first car, providing their college education
• Saving a little in a (matching) 401k
• Enjoying life at middle-age, spending time with family and friends

The last point in particular I am not willing to compromise on. I don’t want a lavish lifestyle but I should be able to travel and enjoy activities. I have minimized personal expenses and nearly eliminated all debt. Today we could live comfortably on $3,000 a month. I am not willing to see my children take on further student loan debt, as I consider 5% interest rates criminal for an investment in our future.

We are not maximizing our tax-deferred contributions today. We did when much younger, but accumulated debt in doing so, and became “house poor”. I’ve learned from our mistakes.And there’s no shame in paying taxes. Part of the point of increasing retirement contributions is to lower my tax burden, I get it. But unless I am also debt free I am losing the game—I would lose far more to interest payments than I would ever pay in taxes.

I need to find a financial advisor who is on board with my plan and will work to maximize the return on my retirement investments and my savings funds. I lack the time to figure this all out for myself. But I don’t need an FA who is set on changing my ideals.

Can a financial advisor give the wrong advice? Yes, especially towards young people who are starting which was my case, they went way too safe and too conservative to the point that my savings in my retirement account were gaining peanuts barely over 2% a year. I switched banks and never looked back.

Either too safe or too risky. You probably hear tons of stories, especially wasting many years of young people who could have put those crucial early years to better use under a better advisor.