Back to all stories

Soundbites and Sales Tactics: Why I Couldn’t Trust a Single Financial Advisor with My Money

Original source

I’ve had initial chats with two, and met two at parties. No horror stories, but all four left me certain that I wouldn’t trust them with a penny of my money. The two I met socially gave me the strong impression they had no idea what they were doing and just parroted dubious soundbites like “you’ll never lose money in property” or “you can’t go wrong with bonds”.

One had been in agriculture before getting a job at his father-in-law’s advisory firm.

I tried to chat to them about more complex post-recession low-interest rate stuff and they kinda changed the subject and just went back to soundbites. The two I actually spoke to about getting advice, one didn’t know how to deal with crypto and promptly ghosted me, the other also appeared to lose interest once it was clear I wasn’t just gonna buy life insurance and commission products. All four did the 1980s sales-y bullshit like using my first name constantly (one of them calling me by the wrong name over and over).

So (while I know every industry has its bad apples), my own personal experience has been that 4 out of 4 had strong scammy used car salesman / estate agent vibes. So basically, they’re the last people I’d hand over money to.I manage my ~£0.5m portfolio myself.

ISSUES
Conflicts of Interest
Incorrect Advice

Related Horror Stories

The “I Can Use Anything, I Just Happen to Use My Own Company’s Mutual Fund” Advisor

Read full story

I had just met with some folks who had recently moved in-state from the East Coast. They were referred to me because they were unhappy with the advisor that they’d been with. The advisor had worked for one of those big insurance companies that also have their own proprietary mutual funds.

The advisor had always made the claim to them that he could use any type of investment that he wanted. What I found funny about that statement was when you actually looked at their account holdings, over 80% of all their investments were with that company’s mutual funds; their own proprietary product.

What was even more a bunch of crap, was the actual funds themselves were horrible.

Their track records were bad, their fees were high, and their performance resembled that of a 16-year-old trying to make it in the NFL; it just wasn’t cutting it. Lesson learned: If you’re using an advisor who works for a big company, be on the lookout if they always recommend their own company’s funds.

Read more
ISSUES
Conflicts of Interest
Incorrect Advice

The “I Know You’re 80 and Should be in a CD, But Let’s Put You in a Risky Investment” Advisor

Read full story

This is the type of advisor that deserves more than just a punch—maybe an eye gouge, a knee to the groin, or even a "people’s elbow" from The Rock.

I had a client whose mother was doing business with another advisor a couple of towns over. The daughter had a funny feeling about the advisor, so she urged her mom to transfer to me. When her mom brought in her account statements, I couldn’t believe what I saw. I had asked both the daughter and the mother what the intent of their investments was, and both agreed that the safety of the principal was a major concern.

The mom had living expenses to meet, and she was going to need to cash in some of the investments in the not-too-distant future. When I hear an 80-year-old widow tell me that she’s worried about her principal and needs access to the money in a short amount of time, I immediately think of CDs, money market accounts, or a savings account.

Well, not this advisor. No, this advisor put most of her money into different preferred stocks and long-term bonds. One of the preferred stocks had a maturity date of 2040. Now, for those of you who don’t understand how preferred stocks work, they resemble a hybrid of a stock and a bond. So, they can fluctuate like a stock and pay interest like a bond.

Well, when the time came that the mother needed the money, interest rates were fluctuating, and in just a few months' time, she saw a 30% drop in principal on those preferred stocks. When she needed to cash out those investments to generate some cash, she was taking a huge loss in principal. Sure, her investments were paying a very high dividend at the time, but that was of little comfort after taking such a huge hit on her money.

Lesson learned: If you think you need to access the money in your investments short term, don’t let an advisor con you into buying anything other than a CD.

Read more
ISSUES
Incorrect Advice

"Safe investments"

Read full story

Just filed my taxes and I’m looking more closely at my finances. I’m pretty good with the basics but feel completely out of my depth with investments.

In 2021 I started a Morgan Stanley investment account with the financial advisor who has been managing my parents’ money for many years.

I invested $67,000 in 2021 and let the advisor choose the stocks/bonds/funds/etc, telling them that I’m extremely risk adverse and I needed safe investments. On Jan 1, 2022, the value was $71,950. On Dec 31, 2022, the value was $58,587. In 2022, I paid $1,025 in trade commissions and $984 in service/advising fees. So basically I paid my advisor $2,000 for her to lose me $13,363 over the course of 2022.

Is this normal? Every time I ask my parents or advisor they tell me “the market is down for everyone.” But my parent love their advisor and thinks the sun shines out her butt and my advisor has a financial incentive to keep me.

Read more
ISSUES
High Fees
Incorrect Advice
Read more stories

Share Your Story

Have you had a negative experience with a human financial advisor or other human “financial expert”? Share your story to help others avoid similar issues. Together, we can shed light on the importance of reliable, unbiased financial advice - its been a big motivator for us to build PortfolioPilot.

Shield icon representing anonymity protection
Don't worry, stories are anonymous!
Thank you for adding your story - we'll review for compliance reasons and post it in the next few days!
Oops! Something went wrong while submitting the form.