Not advice that I was given, but I've worked with plenty of clients who were told by someone else to buy whole life insurance BEFORE investing into IRA or 401(k)...young, no kids, no spouse...just bad financial advisors looking for commissions.

I hired my FA for one thing—to manage my retirement investments. Outside of retirement I have a plan for how I manage my cash flow that fits with my personal lifestyle choices, but I feel my FA wants me to change to fit an investment plan he has picked for me.

We have been saving for retirement about 30 years. One day he called us into his office so he could model our retirement expenses. He asked a number of questions but ignored my answers. Then he came up with a model based on a lavish lifestyle that showed my 30 years of savings would be gone in just one year if I retired early.

I should have fired him on the spot. Apart from not listening to my answers, it’s demoralizing to feel like I have worked a lifetime to support myself for just one year. I felt angry and discouraged.

His plan must have been to convince me to maximize my retirement contributions. I was not ready to do that, and I had told him why. When I was younger I had done that, but got badly burned when my finances went sour and I had no emergency funds—everything I had was locked into an untouchable retirement.

Since then I shifted my finances into six parts:

• Money I need to live today, month-to-month
• A decent rainy-day savings for major purchases or emergencies
• Aggressively paying down all debt, including mortgage debt
• Helping my three children as young adults, buying their first car, providing their college education
• Saving a little in a (matching) 401k
• Enjoying life at middle-age, spending time with family and friends

The last point in particular I am not willing to compromise on. I don’t want a lavish lifestyle but I should be able to travel and enjoy activities. I have minimized personal expenses and nearly eliminated all debt. Today we could live comfortably on $3,000 a month. I am not willing to see my children take on further student loan debt, as I consider 5% interest rates criminal for an investment in our future.

We are not maximizing our tax-deferred contributions today. We did when much younger, but accumulated debt in doing so, and became “house poor”. I’ve learned from our mistakes.And there’s no shame in paying taxes. Part of the point of increasing retirement contributions is to lower my tax burden, I get it. But unless I am also debt free I am losing the game—I would lose far more to interest payments than I would ever pay in taxes.

I need to find a financial advisor who is on board with my plan and will work to maximize the return on my retirement investments and my savings funds. I lack the time to figure this all out for myself. But I don’t need an FA who is set on changing my ideals.

I’ve had initial chats with two, and met two at parties. No horror stories, but all four left me certain that I wouldn’t trust them with a penny of my money. The two I met socially gave me the strong impression they had no idea what they were doing and just parroted dubious soundbites like “you’ll never lose money in property” or “you can’t go wrong with bonds”.

One had been in agriculture before getting a job at his father-in-law’s advisory firm.

I tried to chat to them about more complex post-recession low-interest rate stuff and they kinda changed the subject and just went back to soundbites. The two I actually spoke to about getting advice, one didn’t know how to deal with crypto and promptly ghosted me, the other also appeared to lose interest once it was clear I wasn’t just gonna buy life insurance and commission products. All four did the 1980s sales-y bullshit like using my first name constantly (one of them calling me by the wrong name over and over).

So (while I know every industry has its bad apples), my own personal experience has been that 4 out of 4 had strong scammy used car salesman / estate agent vibes. So basically, they’re the last people I’d hand over money to.I manage my ~£0.5m portfolio myself.