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Soundbites and Sales Tactics: Why I Couldn’t Trust a Single Financial Advisor with My Money

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I’ve had initial chats with two, and met two at parties. No horror stories, but all four left me certain that I wouldn’t trust them with a penny of my money. The two I met socially gave me the strong impression they had no idea what they were doing and just parroted dubious soundbites like “you’ll never lose money in property” or “you can’t go wrong with bonds”.

One had been in agriculture before getting a job at his father-in-law’s advisory firm.

I tried to chat to them about more complex post-recession low-interest rate stuff and they kinda changed the subject and just went back to soundbites. The two I actually spoke to about getting advice, one didn’t know how to deal with crypto and promptly ghosted me, the other also appeared to lose interest once it was clear I wasn’t just gonna buy life insurance and commission products. All four did the 1980s sales-y bullshit like using my first name constantly (one of them calling me by the wrong name over and over).

So (while I know every industry has its bad apples), my own personal experience has been that 4 out of 4 had strong scammy used car salesman / estate agent vibes. So basically, they’re the last people I’d hand over money to.I manage my ~£0.5m portfolio myself.

ISSUES
Conflicts of Interest
Incorrect Advice

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How a Crooked Accountant and Pension Planner Led Me to Take Control of My Financial Future

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I had lots of commission fuelled bad advice from so called ‘financial advisors’.However one piece of advice really sticks out as the worst and also the turning point in my investment life.

The first part of the scam was my crooked accountant recommending an Executive Pension Plan at around age 34.

A pension planner was wheeled into my office and I was signed up and within a few days was then paying 250 GBP/Mth into this wizard investment that would give me a pension at age 60 totalling a zillion GBP p.a. OK first two rip offs, crooked accountant got a nice lump sum and commission for the next 10 years and pension planner got a lifetime rake off of everything I paid into the plan. In fact for the first two years all of the contributions I was making went into their pockets.

Fast forward a few years and the pension planner is back and well guess what my plan is underperforming so I need to increase the payments to 1,000 GBP per month. Holy shit ! I sign the papers and away we go. Now being curious, I do some investigation about how much commission I was paying. For the next two years half of my extra payment goes straight to the pension guy.

That was 9,000 GBP so I could see where my pension was going, exactly nowhere except into the advisors trouser pocket. Well that was it payments stopped and I realised I was being ripped off on everything, pension, investment plans, insurance the whole nine yards. Roll on 6 months I had my own pension fund and I was the trustee, I also had an insurance broker business with a very important client, me.

I never looked back and educated myself and will never ever in a million years take any shit from so called financial advisors. Look after your own money because if these guys were any good they would not need money from a loser like you. Remember Bernie Madhoff, there are plenty more out there.

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Is our financial advisor screwing us?

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I feel like we may be getting shafted by our financial advisor and unsure what to do next.

Some background info: My brother and I inherited a $1 million that was put in a trust in 2018. Since my brother and I were young and dumb, my mom was appointed as the caretaker of the trust and she gave it to here trusted financial advisor to invest/manage until we wanted it transferred. He manages other family funds as well (529s), including her retirement. So we thought it was fine. This amount basically makes up all of our assets.

Cut to now, I’m in mid 20s, my brother is slightly younger, and it’s time to transfer and split the trust. We go to meet this financial advisor, and we were thinking, hey he probably didn’t preform as well as the market, but there should be some gains here. We both thought we were going to stay with him and maybe just tweak our portfolio. Then the meeting happened, and I feel like we’re getting f*cked. I’m not financially literate though, and so I would really appreciate others perspectives to see if I am being crazy.

Reasons why I think we may be getting reamed:

  • Over 6 years our total gains on our $1 million principal is $100,000One of the main reasons it’s that low is because, for the last 6 years, the portfolio has consistently been 70 % CDs and 30 % no cost basis at & t stock my grandparents bought in the 80s.
  • He has our money invested this way because he swears the market is going to crash. Yeah, he has been timing the market INCORRECTLY for 6 YEARS. I asked if he would do anything differently at this point and he said no b/c it’s going to crash this year. I asked him what would his investment strategy be if it doesn’t crash this year, and he said it will crash and did not give me a straightforward answer.
  • When I asked him what commission he was getting off a portfolio like this, he tried to tell me none since it’s not a fund like ETFs(which he gets 1%). After some persistence he finally told me he gets commission from the bank for every CD he buys/sells. Idk if that’s normal so any insight here is great. My mom’s portfolio that he manages is diverse and is mainly stocks and index funds. She is about to retire, yet he puts her in a riskier portfolio than us. And for us, with longer outlooks, he puts all our funds in cds because he swears the market will crash. If he really thought the market will crash, why didn’t he push for my mom to reinvest more of her funds in cds as well? This really bothers me and maybe there is something I am missing here, as I know little about investing. So please let me know.
  • He spent the whole meeting talking about how the market will crash, showing as data and graphs as proof. This data is all public info, and I understand where he could be drawing conclusions like this, but if you’re wrong for 6 years, you’re wrong for 6 years. He went on for 40 minutes before I had to push the conversation towards our actual portfolio. Idk why but this really rubbed me the wrong way.

There is maybe more, but this is what I have for now. I asked him to call me once the first cd is up so we can discuss what to do with it, and he called today. I honestly feel like I should just ask him to transfer the funds to me and I’ll put it in an index fund. But this puts us in a situation where every time a cd is up I’m slowly transferring. Idk what to do.

I understand I was an idiot for not taking agency in this situation earlier. But all I can do at this point is focus on the now. My brother is more financially illiterate than me and my mom gets defensive when I start asking questions. So, what do you make of this? Am I reading this wrong or is he screwing us? If he is screwing us, from a range of incompetent to malicious, how bad?

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ISSUES
Incorrect Advice
Poor Communication

Nokia will rule the cell phone market

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My 1 experience with a financial advisor 18 years ago. I did my high school senior project on investing. So my “mentor” was this financial advisor. I had 5k from my grandmothers to invest in (my great grandmother has mutual funds for all the grandkids so I cashed mine out and my grandma also threw in $1,000 for me)

Anyway.

His can’t miss these are about to be the next big thing picks were Nokia and Pioneer energy services. So Nokia only ever went downhill, I bought I think around $16 and sold at $5 some years later. Pioneer it actually had tripled at one point to $18 then a year later it was $2 then they went bankrupt so bye bye to that money.

I was really into computers back then, I had built my own and talked to him about how everyone in gaming was using Nvidia GeForce graphics cards. He has no interest in it. I can still hear his whiny voice saying how computer industry moves so fast and there will always be some new better faster thing on the market so that would be bad to invest in. And how Nokia was going to rule the cell phone market for years and years.

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Incorrect Advice
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