Soundbites and Sales Tactics: Why I Couldn’t Trust a Single Financial Advisor with My Money
I’ve had initial chats with two, and met two at parties. No horror stories, but all four left me certain that I wouldn’t trust them with a penny of my money. The two I met socially gave me the strong impression they had no idea what they were doing and just parroted dubious soundbites like “you’ll never lose money in property” or “you can’t go wrong with bonds”.
One had been in agriculture before getting a job at his father-in-law’s advisory firm.
I tried to chat to them about more complex post-recession low-interest rate stuff and they kinda changed the subject and just went back to soundbites. The two I actually spoke to about getting advice, one didn’t know how to deal with crypto and promptly ghosted me, the other also appeared to lose interest once it was clear I wasn’t just gonna buy life insurance and commission products. All four did the 1980s sales-y bullshit like using my first name constantly (one of them calling me by the wrong name over and over).
So (while I know every industry has its bad apples), my own personal experience has been that 4 out of 4 had strong scammy used car salesman / estate agent vibes. So basically, they’re the last people I’d hand over money to.I manage my ~£0.5m portfolio myself.
Related Horror Stories
Escape While You Can: The Hidden Costs and High Fees of Edward Jones
Run, don’t walk, away from Edward Jones. The damage is kind of done already, but they will inflict more unnecessary costs and will keep steering you to high load, big fee funds. It’s ridiculous in this day and age.
Anti-financial advisor from a “financial advisor”
I’ll preface that this is more of a rant and confession than anything else. I am a 29 year old “financial planner” for a major brokerage firm that I have been with for 7 years now. I am always so impressed as I scroll through this sub the savviness of the average poster - from saving strategies, bogle head inspired investment strategies, and the overall effective simplicity. In my day job as a “planner” (salesman) we are taught to muddy the waters, complicate the process, and create fear to sell simplistic and unnecessary financial services. I wish I could give real advice ( max out, index, save, etc) but that simply won’t pay the bills. Saving aggressively, maxing tax deferred accounts, and indexing is a simple yet the most effective strategy that anyone can do.
It gives me quite the morale dilemma of pursuing a career in something I don’t believe there’s real value in. In my opinion, for 95+% of folks there is no need for a financial planner/advisor. The only real value in paying for any type of financial service I see is a tax advisor for those in complex situations; but there is simply no need for a financial advisor. I love the planning side of my career, but absolutely hate the sales side, which has stalled my career progress because I have turned down promotions to avoid the majority of my income becoming commission based and to stay in the space of helping rather than selling, which is hurting my own income / FIRE goals.
If I could go back in time, I would have become a CPA or perhaps an estate planner - where real value can be provided. Anyways, I know I am preaching to the choir here but, don’t get sucked in by a financial planner/advisor.
Most advisors are just monkeys
Most are just monkeys 🐒 on a string following a long set of guidelines. What you need is someone who understands math and questions every single guideline. Some of the guidelines don't past the test and end up costing their clients money every year.
This is a very small percentage that can actually do this. In fact my financial advisor is one of the majority monkeys. Occasionally I need to remind him to manage my account my way or he will start managing it like the rest of his clients. But he is a very good and smart person with a good heart.
I wouldn't trust a good percentage of them, find one that gives of the right vibe.
Share Your Story
Have you had a negative experience with a human financial advisor or other human “financial expert”? Share your story to help others avoid similar issues. Together, we can shed light on the importance of reliable, unbiased financial advice - its been a big motivator for us to build PortfolioPilot.
Global Predictions provides investment advice only through its internet-based application, PortfolioPilot, and only to individuals who are advisory clients of Global Predictions pursuant to written advisory Client Agreements ("Advisory Services"). The publicly available portions of the Platform (i.e., the sections of the Platform that are available to individuals who are not party to a Client Agreement - including globalpredictions.com and portions of portfoliopilot.com) are provided for educational purposes only and are not intended to provide legal, tax, or financial planning advice. To the extent that any of the content published on publicly available portions of the Platform may be deemed to be investment advice, such information is impersonal and not tailored to the investment needs of any specific person. Nothing on the publicly available portions of the Platform should be construed as a solicitation or offer, or recommendation, to buy or sell any security. All charts, figures, and graphs on the publicly available websites are for illustrative purposes only. Before investing, you should consider whether any investment, investment strategy, security, other asset, or related transaction is appropriate for you based on your personal investment objectives, financial circumstances, and risk tolerance. You are also encouraged to consult your legal, tax, or investment professional regarding your specific situation. Registration does not imply a certain level of skill or training. Investing involves risk. The value of your investment will fluctuate, and you may gain or lose money.
The contents of the Platform may contain forward-looking statements that are based on management's beliefs, assumptions, current expectations, estimates, and projections about the financial industry, the economy, or Global Predictions itself. Forward-looking statements are not guarantees of the underlying expected actions or future performance and future results may differ significantly from those anticipated by the forward-looking statements. Therefore, actual results and outcomes may materially differ from what may be expressed or forecasted in such forward-looking statements.
Note: our use of the term AI refers to all artificial intelligence models used including large language models, proprietary economic models that incorporate regression or dynamic factors, and machine learning methods like supervised learning.
2. As of February 20. 2025
3. $30B Assets on Platform as of February 20. 2025. Aggregated across all plans (including the free plan). Assets on Platform represent the total value of connected and manually inputted accounts (including assets like real estate and private equity) and does not in any way represent Asset Under Management as Global Predictions does not manage any client funds.
8. Case studies presented are hypothetical scenarios and intended for illustrative purposes only. They do not represent an actual client, investment or experience, but rather are meant to provide an example of the intended investment process and methodology. An individual’s experience may vary based on his or her circumstances. There can be no assurance that the Firm will be able to achieve similar results in comparable situations. No portion of this case study is to be interpreted as a testimonial or endorsement of the Firm’s investment advisory services. The information contained herein should not be construed as personal investment advice.