The “I Know You’re 80 and Should be in a CD, But Let’s Put You in a Risky Investment” Advisor
This is the type of advisor that deserves more than just a punch—maybe an eye gouge, a knee to the groin, or even a "people’s elbow" from The Rock.
I had a client whose mother was doing business with another advisor a couple of towns over. The daughter had a funny feeling about the advisor, so she urged her mom to transfer to me. When her mom brought in her account statements, I couldn’t believe what I saw. I had asked both the daughter and the mother what the intent of their investments was, and both agreed that the safety of the principal was a major concern.
The mom had living expenses to meet, and she was going to need to cash in some of the investments in the not-too-distant future. When I hear an 80-year-old widow tell me that she’s worried about her principal and needs access to the money in a short amount of time, I immediately think of CDs, money market accounts, or a savings account.
Well, not this advisor. No, this advisor put most of her money into different preferred stocks and long-term bonds. One of the preferred stocks had a maturity date of 2040. Now, for those of you who don’t understand how preferred stocks work, they resemble a hybrid of a stock and a bond. So, they can fluctuate like a stock and pay interest like a bond.
Well, when the time came that the mother needed the money, interest rates were fluctuating, and in just a few months' time, she saw a 30% drop in principal on those preferred stocks. When she needed to cash out those investments to generate some cash, she was taking a huge loss in principal. Sure, her investments were paying a very high dividend at the time, but that was of little comfort after taking such a huge hit on her money.
Lesson learned: If you think you need to access the money in your investments short term, don’t let an advisor con you into buying anything other than a CD.
Related Horror Stories
Warning about some "financial advisors", "financial planners", etc
I was approached by a "financial advisor" who offered free financial advice. This planner was a friend of a friend, so I agreed but told them straight off the bat that I was not looking to hire a financial planner. They said that was fine, and that the advice would certainly be free because I’m a friend of a friend.
This is where I made my first mistake. After a few meetings, this advisor gave me a "financial plan" that included paying for term life insurance AND whole life insurance AND disability insurance (all policies under the company they work for). These would come out to $4,700/year when my salary is only in the $80-90k range. Not to even mention that I am 22 years old with no dependents and have no need for life insurance. This "financial plan" also didn’t include rent, mortgage payments, car payments, or anything else I might need to pay in the future.
I can understand being advised to get disability insurance, but this financial advisor knew that I had not even signed up for my company’s disability insurance and so would not be able to make an informed decision on it. I told this person "no," but they tried to convince me I was making a bad choice. They told me that whole life insurance was a good investment, even better than investing in some index fund, and generally made it sound like this would be the worst financial decision of my life.
I asked my friend about this, and it turns out his mother also sells life insurance. The difference is that she’s ethical and only sells whole life insurance to people who actually need it (i.e., not people in their early 20s who have no health issues and no dependents). I found out that whole life insurance is not an investment, and if it is, then it’s a pretty lousy one. I found out that I probably don’t need two different life insurance policies at the age of 22 with no dependents.
My point is, there are certain people passing themselves off as "financial planners," "financial advisors," or "financial whatever" who tell you that they want to make sure you’re financially secure and would only want to advise you to do things that are in your best interests. These people are snakes, but somehow, they are able to legitimize themselves behind a big company. I’ve heard that a lot of them target younger people and use fear to convince them to buy a bunch of insurance they don’t need.
Just be careful, fellas, and do your own research.
My husband and I are idiots. We've been bamboozled by a financial advisor.
Ugh, I'm so frustrated. I thought we were doing a good thing for ourselves, but now I think we are trapped. Full backstory: A friend recommended their "financial advisor" to us. We thought, "Great! We've been meaning to meet with someone... we have a kid on the way, and my husband isn't putting away anything toward retirement since starting his new job in August."
So, we set up a phone meeting with this friend from Northwestern Mutual. She gives us a call, and we end up speaking with her for over an hour. She asks us lots of questions—what we are looking for (we tell her we want to set up retirement stuff for my husband and explore maybe putting some of our $17k in savings into CDs or mutual funds). She asks us questions about when we see ourselves retiring, how "aggressive" we are, etc. All good stuff. We hang up and agree to talk again in a week when she will give us a plan.
Cut to a week later, we're having another phone meeting, and she emails me THE PLAN. It's many, many pages, basically explaining what we have vs. what we will need if we want to retire. But she mostly just talks about how we need more life insurance. "Sure," we think. Maybe we do need more life insurance. She explains that my husband needs at least $1 million in life insurance and I need $500k (we both already have $150k policies through work). This is news to us, but we hear her out. She also spends a ton of time explaining how we need to have disability insurance. Again, we think, "Maybe we do." So we spend the greater part of an hour and a half talking about life insurance and long-term disability insurance. She briefly mentions we should be maxing out my Roth IRA and could perhaps start one for my husband.
We hang up with plans to talk again in a week and sign some paperwork. Over the next week, my husband and I really realize that we don't want disability insurance (she quoted us paying like $170/month), and we didn't feel we needed more life insurance at this time (she had us paying $340/month in permanent and $125/month in term). But we were okay maxing out my Roth at $450/month. We also wanted to explore stocks/bonds/CDs/mutual funds more (like we initially told her). So, I sent this all to her in an email before our next meeting. She responded with, "OK, great! Sounds good... talk soon."
Cut to another phone meeting, where she would talk with us about our updated PLAN. She emails us the NEW PLAN while we're on the phone. LITERALLY NOTHING IS CHANGED. She proceeds to spend the next hour convincing us why we need life insurance and disability insurance. My husband and I are both pushovers and listen to the whole spiel again. Every time we bring up a reason why we don't feel like we need it, she tells us how wrong we are. I mean, she's the professional, we thought. I still expressed my disinterest in disability insurance but wasn't completely closing the door on life insurance. She kept guilt-tripping me about "what will your kids have if one of you dies!"
By the end of the conversation, I hadn't agreed to anything except to roll over my Roth to Northwestern. She had me give her my bank routing info to get "the paperwork started." She also said she was going to be sending me a bunch of stuff to sign in the next few weeks, but it was just to apply for things... nothing was set in stone. We could just see what the insurance company was going to quote us, and we still weren't committed to anything. "Ugh, fine," I thought. She said a small amount might be taken out of my checking, but it was just to make sure "the charges are able to go through when we start moving more money to my Roth."
So a week or two goes by, and I see a ~$30 charge go through for "disability insurance"—WHICH I TOLD HER I DIDN'T WANT! And I just realized... this doesn't feel good. It doesn't seem right. She's not listening to what we want. She still hasn't addressed our interest in CDs/mutual funds/stocks, which we initially came to her for. I spent the weekend doing my due diligence—spending a few hours on r/personalfinance, NerdWallet, just googling in general about what my husband and I should really be doing. I decided to call the whole thing off with Northwestern.
It's been a nightmare trying to cut off ties with her. I was kind and courteous through the first couple of emails and subsequent texts: "We really appreciate your time but have decided to pull out. Again, thank you." She is being evasive and manipulative, telling us we are completely wrong and still need to work with her. At this point, I have just ignored any further communication. It has just been a really bad experience.
But THE REAL REASON I still feel like I can't completely ignore her is that I asked her several times when I should expect to see a refund for the disability insurance THAT I DID NOT WANT AND DID NOT AGREE TO. She just dances around the question. I'm also worried because I've gotten a "bill" (no charges yet) in the mail for the $340/month in permanent, $125/month in term, and $170 in short-term disability.
Is there anything I can do to make sure I don't get charged for this? If I communicate with her any further, she just tries to talk to us about why we need to invest with her, etc.
WHAT DO WE DO? She is being shady AF.
Dodging Disaster: The Terrible Mortgage Advice That Almost Led Me Into the 2008 Crash
Some idiot financial advisor came to my workplace circa 2006 advising everyone to take zero-downpayment, interest-only mortgages, which were widely available at the time and were what fueled the housing bubble.
Then use the proceeds to buy life insurance as an investment.
I recall asking him, what happens when the interest-only period expires and you're required to start paying principal? "Oh, don't worry, you can always refinance into another interest-only loan. "Obviously I did not follow his advice, and we all know how the real estate market ended up after the 2008 crash. (I ended up buying my house in 2012.)
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