Human Financial Advisor Horror Stories

I had one guy INSIST that I buy a costly Variable Life insurance policy. “Don’t read the prospectus! TRUST ME!” Sorry. “We’re not leaving until you sign!” Okay well you may want to order a pizza, because it’s gonna be a looooooooooong wait!

Another time I met with reps from a major financial firm who asked how my investments had been doing. “For the past ten years my compound returns have been 27%.” (That is, my portfolio was up 10x over ten years.)

This upset then tremendously, like I had just told them I kidnapped babies to use as firewood. “Well, THAT’s totally unsuitable!”Well, what do YOU recommend? “We have a program that will deliver 7% a year. But no promises!” (Perhaps double over ten years.) Okay! We’re done here!

I'm a tax attorney, so I see a lot of other people's finances.

The ones I see that work with a financial advisor are, without exception, paying at least 1% of AUM in fees to be in higher-costs funds that underperform the index funds in the long run. To make matters worse, the financial advisors choose tax-inefficient funds and take their fees in the most tax-inefficient way possible. I have also found that many do not understand the nuances of self employed retirement plans or the backdoor Roth.

In my view, there are a few problems with the industry. First, most financial firms hire salespeople and then teach them finance, instead of hiring people who already know finance. I know a LOT of morons working in Edward Jones shops and the like, who are charming but ultimately don't understand the back end of the products they sell. My ex worked for two of the large regional banks in my area, and she had a degree in communications.

She knew (and knows) nothing about finance, but instead was hired because her family is wealthy and gets referral business from old neighbors and classmates. She couldn't even pass the Series 7, but the banks thought she could work in trust management. I talk to clients and financial advisors all the time who don't understand the difference in tax efficiency between mutual funds and ETFs, or the mechanics and reasons of a 1031 exchange, or what the tax incentives actually look like in various types of accounts, or the merits of a solo 401k vs a SEP IRA.

When you only have a hammer, everything starts to look like a nail. Second, the incentives are rarely aligned in the middle of the market or below. Helping a 24 year old set up and fund their Roth IRA is probably not worth your time on the front end unless you're getting an outsized commissions, which ultimately cost the client more money than needed for someone with a small account.

My partner put 50k into investments via a well known financial services company during Covid and saw a decent profit (unexpectedly quick, but that’s Covid I guess). We have only seen shrinkage since then.

I put about 100k down about 2 years ago, it has only dropped since. My FA has never spoken to me, in fact he moved off my account without telling me, and the new advisor didn’t even intro themselves. When me and my partner tried to get time to speak to the new person it took weeks.

When we eventually got them on a call they were fine but didn’t give us much concrete, there were follow ups to be done, the FA has not followed up in 3 weeks. I emailed a week ago asking for a date for these, no response. Is this normal for FAs? In my industry I would be fired immediately by my clients for this level of service (specifically talking about the service not the profit on the investments as I’m aware that’s a long game).

Are all FAs generally incredibly slow and hard to reach? I ask as this person belongs to a large reputable firm. This far they have taken my money and charged me fees despite my investment never generating profit and never speaking to me either. While my wife has had slightly (she has spoken to the advisor once before I invested) better service, and had profit a while ago, the service is so poor.

It was once suggested to me by a “financial advisor” to cash out my 401k and reinvest it into a whole life insurance policy.