Leave the clowns at the circus

This is the type of advisor that deserves more than just a punch—maybe an eye gouge, a knee to the groin, or even a "people’s elbow" from The Rock.

I had a client whose mother was doing business with another advisor a couple of towns over. The daughter had a funny feeling about the advisor, so she urged her mom to transfer to me. When her mom brought in her account statements, I couldn’t believe what I saw. I had asked both the daughter and the mother what the intent of their investments was, and both agreed that the safety of the principal was a major concern.

The mom had living expenses to meet, and she was going to need to cash in some of the investments in the not-too-distant future. When I hear an 80-year-old widow tell me that she’s worried about her principal and needs access to the money in a short amount of time, I immediately think of CDs, money market accounts, or a savings account.

Well, not this advisor. No, this advisor put most of her money into different preferred stocks and long-term bonds. One of the preferred stocks had a maturity date of 2040. Now, for those of you who don’t understand how preferred stocks work, they resemble a hybrid of a stock and a bond. So, they can fluctuate like a stock and pay interest like a bond.

Well, when the time came that the mother needed the money, interest rates were fluctuating, and in just a few months' time, she saw a 30% drop in principal on those preferred stocks. When she needed to cash out those investments to generate some cash, she was taking a huge loss in principal. Sure, her investments were paying a very high dividend at the time, but that was of little comfort after taking such a huge hit on her money.

Lesson learned: If you think you need to access the money in your investments short term, don’t let an advisor con you into buying anything other than a CD.

One man I knew inherited from his parents their entire and sizable estate, which was put in trust; and there was a trustee named by the last surviving parent to settle the debts of the estate, sell some real property, and pay a set amount of money per month for life to the trust beneficiary.

Zero. ($0). No monthly payments happened. A month, three, six, a year passed. My friend was ultimately told the decedent’s debts exceeded the trust assets, and there were no funds left in the trust. Debts included substantial fees for financial advisors, the trustee, and lien(s?) on property my friend had no way of knowing even existed.

I said, “get a lawyer. Now!”

Nobody would take the case. My faith was totally ruined and I now do not have the belief that it is a good idea to appoint anyone as a financial advisor, least of all anyone working in banks as financial advisors or as trustees. Even with a scrupulous outside and unaffiliated CPA accountant, and regular financial reports by that objective third party CPA, there is no way to understand if a financial advisor or trustee is or will be faithful, because most heirs and beneficiaries don’t even know how to understand even simple financial reports. It seems to me that trusts as a means of conveying property after death just make trustees and lawyers wealthy at the expense of bereaved people who are the rightful heirs.

The sizeable estate my friend was to inherit was somehow mysteriously bled dry. I figure the best thing to do if you are wealthy is to give your money away while you are alive to those you wish would have it after your death. There is too much opportunity for uncheckeable theft, otherwise. Heirs and beneficiaries are not as financially savvy as financial advisors, and are vulnerable prey.

Put it this way, have you ever been to a circus? You have! Well, remember those people who made you laugh? Finance advisers can also do this. But they can also make you cry. Here’s a funny story—true as well.

We had a clown, visited us as they do for many years, charging us fees, etc. Also, fees that were not revealed to us, which we discovered later. Well, after 13 years of having him sponge off us, we realized he had F.C.ED us, big style. He said the investments were not taxable as they were a specific type of investment.

Well, we realized these were taxable when we questioned him, asking, "Why did you set these investments if they are taxable?" He ran away and left us with a tax bill of 13 years, plus interest.

People will say, "Why did you not make your own enquiries into what is taxable and what is not?" Well, the answer to that is because we were paying a professional.

Well, it cost us dearly, so make sure it doesn’t happen to you. Leave the clowns in the circus!