The “12%” Advisor
A few years ago, I was competing for a client’s business. I was one of two other advisors who were being interviewed, and I gave my traditional spiel. It turns out that one of the guys I was up against had guaranteed to the potential client that he could make 12% in the stock market.
Now, keep in mind that this was not before 2023, and even if it was, it wouldn’t matter. The advisor was using basic mutual funds and still had the audacity to claim to my client that he could net him a guaranteed 12% return.
I was in shock.
Lesson Learned: If you ever come across any type of advisor that guarantees you any rate of return, and isn’t quoting you a fixed annuity, a CD, or some type of insured bond – don’t fall for it. It’s too good to be true. Get out of their office fast.
Related Horror Stories
What does an advisor do?
Years ago when I was getting started i spoke to a Schwab advisor. After speaking with him for an hour I still couldn’t figure out what a financial advisor does.
Do you pick stocks? “No, we allocate it to a few different index funds” which funds “funds you feel comfortable that suits your risk level” so I pick the funds?? “Yes” on so then what do you do??! “I advise you, and help you with your unique needs” my unique needs??? My need is for my money to grow as fast as possible.
Do some people have the unique need to lose money?? “….”
Dodged a Bullet: I Fired My Adviser Who Wanted Me to Mortgage My Home for a Risky Annuity
My former adviser recommended that I, on the eve of retirement, take out a mortgage on my fully paid-for home to buy a variable annuity from her. I would have gone from having zero layers of humans between me and a valuable asset (100% equity in my home) to three layers of humans between me and my asset.
First layer was her (collecting the fat commission on that annuity). Second layer was the insurance company selling that notoriously questionable product, and lastly the fund managers of the mutual funds into which the insurance company would invest my annuity dollars. Everybody would be taking their cut, and I would be last in line for value. How did I fix the problem? You'll notice I began by describing that person as my former adviser.
Two weeks for nothing
We are in the midst of looking elsewhere as we speak. Our guy is not untrustworthy. It’s just that when I ask for a simple projected income statement for post-retirement, he worked for two weeks on it and said he just couldn’t produce one. It seemed like a simple request.
Share Your Story
Have you had a negative experience with a human financial advisor or other human “financial expert”? Share your story to help others avoid similar issues. Together, we can shed light on the importance of reliable, unbiased financial advice - its been a big motivator for us to build PortfolioPilot.
Global Predictions provides investment advice only through its internet-based application, PortfolioPilot, and only to individuals who are advisory clients of Global Predictions pursuant to written advisory Client Agreements ("Advisory Services"). The publicly available portions of the Platform (i.e., the sections of the Platform that are available to individuals who are not party to a Client Agreement - including globalpredictions.com and portions of portfoliopilot.com) are provided for educational purposes only and are not intended to provide legal, tax, or financial planning advice. To the extent that any of the content published on publicly available portions of the Platform may be deemed to be investment advice, such information is impersonal and not tailored to the investment needs of any specific person. Nothing on the publicly available portions of the Platform should be construed as a solicitation or offer, or recommendation, to buy or sell any security. All charts, figures, and graphs on the publicly available websites are for illustrative purposes only. Before investing, you should consider whether any investment, investment strategy, security, other asset, or related transaction is appropriate for you based on your personal investment objectives, financial circumstances, and risk tolerance. You are also encouraged to consult your legal, tax, or investment professional regarding your specific situation. Registration does not imply a certain level of skill or training. Investing involves risk. The value of your investment will fluctuate, and you may gain or lose money.
The contents of the Platform may contain forward-looking statements that are based on management's beliefs, assumptions, current expectations, estimates, and projections about the financial industry, the economy, or Global Predictions itself. Forward-looking statements are not guarantees of the underlying expected actions or future performance and future results may differ significantly from those anticipated by the forward-looking statements. Therefore, actual results and outcomes may materially differ from what may be expressed or forecasted in such forward-looking statements.
Note: our use of the term AI refers to all artificial intelligence models used including large language models, proprietary economic models that incorporate regression or dynamic factors, and machine learning methods like supervised learning.
2. As of February 20. 2025
3. $30B Assets on Platform as of February 20. 2025. Aggregated across all plans (including the free plan). Assets on Platform represent the total value of connected and manually inputted accounts (including assets like real estate and private equity) and does not in any way represent Asset Under Management as Global Predictions does not manage any client funds.
8. Case studies presented are hypothetical scenarios and intended for illustrative purposes only. They do not represent an actual client, investment or experience, but rather are meant to provide an example of the intended investment process and methodology. An individual’s experience may vary based on his or her circumstances. There can be no assurance that the Firm will be able to achieve similar results in comparable situations. No portion of this case study is to be interpreted as a testimonial or endorsement of the Firm’s investment advisory services. The information contained herein should not be construed as personal investment advice.