The “I Can Use Anything, I Just Happen to Use My Own Company’s Mutual Fund” Advisor

I once had a person come to me who was very disgruntled with their current financial advisor. They had lost more money than they’d wanted to and really didn’t understand what they had. When I had a chance to take a look at their mutual fund portfolio, I noticed that all they had were B-Share mutual funds.

For those of you who don’t know, B-Shares, for the most part, are now non-existent. Although I can’t be certain why, my hunch is that they aren’t around anymore because too many advisors abused them. If they could still sell them, the advisor could make a handsome commission, and the client would never know.

Now, it’s not the commission on the B-Share that makes them so bad; it’s the fact that most of them had a six- to seven-year surrender period. That means if you buy the fund, you’re going to have to hold it for at least six or seven years before you can liquidate it without a penalty.

The client in my office had no idea what a B-Share was, and most importantly, had no idea that she had a surrender charge attached to it. So here she is—stuck in investments that had lost more money for her than she had wanted, and she can’t do anything about it. If she did sell it, she’d have to pay a surrender charge on top of her losses. Talk about a slap in the face.

Lesson learned: Read all the fine print and make sure you understand if your investment product has any type of surrender charge attached to it.

My 1 experience with a financial advisor 18 years ago. I did my high school senior project on investing. So my “mentor” was this financial advisor. I had 5k from my grandmothers to invest in (my great grandmother has mutual funds for all the grandkids so I cashed mine out and my grandma also threw in $1,000 for me)

Anyway.

His can’t miss these are about to be the next big thing picks were Nokia and Pioneer energy services. So Nokia only ever went downhill, I bought I think around $16 and sold at $5 some years later. Pioneer it actually had tripled at one point to $18 then a year later it was $2 then they went bankrupt so bye bye to that money.

I was really into computers back then, I had built my own and talked to him about how everyone in gaming was using Nvidia GeForce graphics cards. He has no interest in it. I can still hear his whiny voice saying how computer industry moves so fast and there will always be some new better faster thing on the market so that would be bad to invest in. And how Nokia was going to rule the cell phone market for years and years.

I’ve had initial chats with two, and met two at parties. No horror stories, but all four left me certain that I wouldn’t trust them with a penny of my money. The two I met socially gave me the strong impression they had no idea what they were doing and just parroted dubious soundbites like “you’ll never lose money in property” or “you can’t go wrong with bonds”.

One had been in agriculture before getting a job at his father-in-law’s advisory firm.

I tried to chat to them about more complex post-recession low-interest rate stuff and they kinda changed the subject and just went back to soundbites. The two I actually spoke to about getting advice, one didn’t know how to deal with crypto and promptly ghosted me, the other also appeared to lose interest once it was clear I wasn’t just gonna buy life insurance and commission products. All four did the 1980s sales-y bullshit like using my first name constantly (one of them calling me by the wrong name over and over).

So (while I know every industry has its bad apples), my own personal experience has been that 4 out of 4 had strong scammy used car salesman / estate agent vibes. So basically, they’re the last people I’d hand over money to.I manage my ~£0.5m portfolio myself.